Loving Yourself After Divorce – How to Get Started
How to Love Yourself After Divorce
It can be difficult to love yourself when you’re going through a difficult life transition. Yet many women in particular have found themselves going through just such a transformation recently, especially in light of the COVID-19 pandemic.
The pandemic made many women realize that they wanted to make certain changes within their lives. Women were experiencing—on a large scale—mood issues, as well as insecurities about their places in life and even their appearance. Certainly, this phenomenon makes sense—while trapped indoors, people began reflecting on themselves, and considering how they could best make chances within their lives. The pandemic affected everyone; and this reflection did, too. Women of all ages and stations in life were forced to think about their goals and obstacles to those goals.
Perhaps for this reason, among others, more women began considering divorce. In 2020, divorce rates began spiking across the world. Additionally, law firms specializing in divorce and custody issues saw an increase in inquiries. If people weren’t actively getting divorced, they were certainly thinking about it—and this interest continued well in 2021.
While we often see divorce as something negative, this isn’t the case for everyone. For many, divorces are fairly amicable, if not necessarily a happy occasion. Some people find that divorce will make them much happier in the long term, and even benefit their families. But that doesn’t mean that it’s easy. Many women find that they feel insecure after getting a divorce. However, that feeling, while natural, can’t stick around forever.
Fortunately, we have some suggestions ready to help you get out of a post-divorce funk. You just need to make sure that you’re asking the right questions, first.
Why Do Women Feel Insecure After Getting Divorced?
No woman should feel insecure because she’s getting divorced—but there’s nothing like divorce to make you realize how much time has passed since you first got married. From your wedding day to the day you get divorced, your body will likely go through many changes. Many women have children during their marriages, which can result in changes like stretch marks and loosened skin. It’s natural to lose or gain weight over the course of your marriage, and you may notice lines where you didn’t have any before.
Even if your marriage is relatively short, and even if you don’t have children during your marriage, divorce in itself may cause you to experience some very real transformations. Divorce is quite mentally taxing, and many women experience fluctuations within their bodies as they adjust to this new state of mind. So it’s understandable if you’re not quite familiar with your emotional and physical identity post-divorce.
Furthermore, most women who are getting divorced haven’t started a new romantic relationship in quite some time. While it’s just fine for you to be single and independent, many divorced women like to get out and date eventually. It’s one thing to think about dating, however, and another thing entirely to get out there. You may feel like you’re not the person you once were, and you may be worried about how other people will perceive you following your divorce.
What Can We Do to Feel Better After Divorce?
There are many things that you can do to make yourself feel brighter and readier to get out in the world—whether that means dating or simply reintroducing yourself as a single person. We recommend starting with your mental health. Even if your divorce is going perfectly, you may want to think about speaking to a therapist at certain points during the process. This is especially important for women with children, who may find that they need to take on more following their divorce, or for that matter see their children less, depending on their custody agreement. Your entire family will inevitably experience upheaval due to divorce, and you will be much happier if you keep an eye on the issues surrounding it.
You may also want to do some things to update your appearance—not that you don’t look great as you are! Many women just want to try new things once they’re single again. For some, this means a new haircut or color. For others, this might meet taking on a new sense of style, or at least trying it temporarily.
As previously mentioned, lots of women experience changes in their bodies during divorce. It’s always a good idea to get healthy; but getting healthy doesn’t necessarily mean being a certain weight or having an ideal look. Getting healthy doesn’t necessarily mean hitting a certain weight or having a specific look. While you might be eager to hit the gym and lose weight, you don’t have to.
One thing that we would certainly recommend considering is, of course, shapewear. Many women find themselves turning to shapewear after getting divorced for a wide variety of reasons. Shapewear can allow you to create the look that you want when you want it, rather than waiting for your body to be “ready”. It’s a great way to give yourself extra support and comfort as you begin to transition from being out and about as a married woman, to being out and about while single again.
There’s no “right” way to get back out there after being divorced. Everyone’s comfort levels will vary. But if you’re attentive to your own needs, you can move forward following a divorce. Just try to focus less on your marriage ending, and more on having a new beginning!